had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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