I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
