There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
