We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
