You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize