areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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