I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the raccoons are back...
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