HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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