why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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