sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
