I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
