Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Found your dick twin last night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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