His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
