I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
