How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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