You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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