How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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