3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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