DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
