Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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