I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
