The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
