I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
