break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
