Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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