I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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