I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
