you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
