I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
