Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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