"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
