Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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