I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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