the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
