she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize