first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
