OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
