I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
