next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
