I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
