Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
