found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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