I met the friendliest cop last night
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
