Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
