How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
