"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
