That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
