What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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