I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
