I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
