drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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