your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
