hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
