Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
