i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sorry about my life...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
