If that was your dad, he is hot
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
