I just threw up on my dentist
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
