wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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