My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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