Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
