spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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