Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
