Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
