I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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