I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
