I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
